Reflection

Tomorrow is the last day of school in my first year of teaching.

1.     I applied for 21 jobs and had 3 interviews. I got my job 3 weeks before school started, while I was still working 3 part time jobs. I was completely unprepared to start the school year. I faked it for the entire first semester. I really didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I cried a lot. I spent a lot of brainstorming and redoing lesson plans, classroom management strategies, gradebooks (never mind that we don’t use traditional grading or behavior management strategies at our school). I tried to be productive over fall break, but I was so drained I just slept.

2.     I fake that I know what I’m doing better. I have consistent gradebooks. my lessons align better with my standards and school wide themes.

3.     I was starting to feel confident about entering my second year of teaching, and then I got thrown a curve ball.

4.     I will be teaching K-12 PE and health. I am scared to death about it and don’t know how I will be able to teach anything with so many variations on a theme to teach. How will I assess students to know when to change what I am doing. How can I possibly develop relationships with students when I have so many and only 40 minutes with them a week.

5.     I feel as though I’m going to be a first year teacher all over again.

6.     Why the change? Politics.

7.     I wrote about trying not to take politics personally back in November. But, it is so hard not to, when it’s politics that is making it harder and harder to educate the whole child.  When politics is what cuts their PE time from 165 minutes a week to 40. When I no longer get to teach Health and PE, but an integrated “wellness” class (I know to some this sounds great – but I can tell you why it’s not).

My students have been fantastic guinea pigs. I have to thank them for making my first year rich and colorful. I have to thank my colleagues for being INCREDIBLY supportive and wise. I have to thank Nathan, my family, and Rachel for listening to me rant, cry, brainstorm, and reflect.

I did a lot of changing and growing this year as an educator. Here’s to the next teaching adventure. I am curious to see where it leads.

Reflection

Hello blog world,

It’s wonderful to take a break from reality (never mind the stack of papers I have to grade and the lessons I still need to plan) and sit at home. I love coming “home” to Minnesota. Even though I live in Indiana and I have a wonderful home with Nathan, coming to my parents’ house is comforting and warm and feels so good. It’s nice to be taken care of when I feel as though all I do is care for others.

Today I went to my old high school and had some wonderful conversations with two of my high school mentors. It was so fantastic to talk to them as colleagues, but to still have them share their wisdom with me in ways that make sense to me. They can still see me as their student and can use that knowledge to help me continue to grow as  a professional. I hope I grow to understand my students in the same way. I hope that in 5 years or 10 years a student can come to me for help and I can still offer them the support that they need.

Walking into my high school makes me think about what I want for my students. I am under no illusion that my high school is perfect and meeting the needs of all students, but there are clearly things working in the building. I know that they have students with challenging lives and students who need tremendous support to get through the day and the year, but there is not the overwhelming culture of panic in the building that I experience on a daily basis.

As I brainstormed with these two teachers about how to be more effective in my classroom two main pieces of advice came through:

1.    Don’t take the politics and current educational climate personally. I am facing a tough evaluation and rehiring process in my district and there is a good chance that as a first year teacher, I wont be back. I want to go back, but it may not be possible. But, I still have a job to do and students to reach and they need me to keep what happens in my classroom consistent and rigorous. They still need to learn. And while I (and the other teachers) are scared and frustrated, the students should not feel our frustration. I have only been doing this for 3.5 months and have a long road ahead of me, so if I keep plugging away and doing what I need to do, eventually I will be a great teacher. 

2.    Continue to reflect. I made a comment to one of my mentors that I have been enjoying reading another one of my high school mentors blogs. She is the most reflective teacher I know and probably one of the best teachers I know and knowing and understanding her students. I always thought in high school that she had it all figured out. Now I clearly see that she doesn’t. I think it’s fantastic. My mentor essentially said – I hope she doesn’t and I hope no one ever does. He’s so right. Complacency is not going to help our educational system improve. Constantly changing, adapting, learning, and reflecting is only going to continue to make teachers improve and therefore the ability (cognitively and socially) of our students will continue to improve.

I feel renewed to go back and face whatever my job hands to me. I’m not there yet (and I may never be there) but I have passion and determination.

7 Weeks In

I have been a teacher for 7 weeks. Perhaps that is enough of an explanation of why I have not been blogging much recently, perhaps not. These last 7 weeks have at times felt like a year has gone by and other times it feels as though seconds have past. I have not had enough time to do anything, yet I have accomplished so much.

A few highlights:

1. I am seen as a colleague and an expert. I do not feel as though I have enough skills and to be considered the first let alone the second. But, it does feel good knowing that my opinions are respected and valued.

2. Nathan and I moved - again. But, I no longer commute an hour and 20 each way. Now I drive 10 minutes each way! The house, while still a little chaotic feels like a home. Which is good because I had to give up my MN driver's license and that did not feel good.

3. Some students hate me and others love me. Yes it's a highlight to have students dislike you for making them work. It is school and students should be working, learning. It is my goal every day to make learning meaningful and relevant, but sometimes that means doing a few unpleasant tasks. The students who say "good morning" and ask me how I am doing make me want to come back everyday and teach.

My desk - classroom photos will have to follow!

Summer Goals Update 2

1. Well, I did a whole lot better on the grocery shopping....but I ate out WAY too many times. So I think the last two weeks have been an epic fail here!

2. Well, let's just say that life has gotten in the way of my reading. It's a good thing I promise! I am fairly certain that I will have plenty of quality book listening time (3 hours a day in the car) because....

3. I GOT A JOB!!!!!!! I'll be teaching secondary Health and PE at an Indianapolis Public School. I’m a little nervous to day the least, but I can’t wait to do what I set out to do so many years ago!

A little timeline for you:

July 12: Interview #3
July 13: Accepted job!
July 20: Signed all official paperwork
July 22: Get ID and go to first teacher meeting
August 1: New Teacher Orientation
August 2-5: Teacher meetings, set up classroom and office, finish planning the first few week of instruction.
August 8: School Starts!


EEEEEEKKKKK! Did I mention that I moved last week and that I have a huge work Project to finsih?!


Good thing I like to busy! So thankful that things are falling into place.

Teaching Demo

Monday's quote of the day was: "A real person is not afraid of trying." It was a great motivator.

This past Monday, I did a teaching demonstration down in Indianapolis. I went in with a standards-based lesson that allowed students to learn about a skill theoretically, see a demonstration of the skills, practice the skill, and then demonstrate the skill back to me and their peers for feedback. I gave it my all, and it turned out well! Of course there are things that I can work on, but I am very happy with the way my 30 minutes of instructional time went.

Being in the classroom again was fantastic. I've been out of the classroom for over a year now. And while I have been teaching (tutoring, leading girl scouts, and subbing) I have not been solely responsible for planning effective lessons for a while.

I came out of the demonstration feeling rejuvenated. I go through waves of excitement and then fear and dread about what the Fall will look like for me. But, I am excited. Perhaps I'll be in Indianapolis.

A special thanks to Nora for her support and encouragement and great Facebook  brainstorming!

Teacher Fair

"To be wise, go out a meet people."

- African Proverb

How perfect is this quote. And it was today's - the day I had six interviews at the teacher fair.

Yesterday was spent navagating through tons of applicants to find schools/corporations with potential Health or Health/PE posting and then finding a time slot on the schools interview sign up to squeeze my name. Well, I made it onto six lists. After today, a few sound interesting a few are just not going to work out. If all else fails, I had a lot of practice talking and I certainly met and networked with a lot of people.

On to the thank you notes...

All Smiles for Now

I have been sooooo bored the last few weeks. After getting my apartment in order, I've done lots of scrapbooking, reading, movie watching, blog reading, and just about everything to pass the time. I'm playing the oboe again and trying to exercise with out a gym mebership. In many ways, I'm doing things that I have just not had the time to do for a long time. And during those moments, I feel REALLY good. But, after being awake for a few hours, I've finished everything I wanted to accomplish in the day and then - I'm bored!

I never thought that after 17 years of being in school, that a break would be unwelcome. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy that I don't have any homework - except job applications sure do feel like homework!

I know it will take time to find the perfect job, a full time job that I love and makes me feel like I'm making my contribution to the world. I'm under no illusion that it will be easy or fast. But, today I did have a small victory. I was offered a job as a part time after school math and reading tutor.

I start (paid!) training next week and will be working 2 to 4 days after school a week. It's not much, but it does get me out of the house and helping people. It's still teaching and even though it's not directly in my field, it's a step in the right direction!